Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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