what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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