Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
