WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
