Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
