Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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