I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
