remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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