no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So apparently I’m into choking now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
