At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
