All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
