party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
