Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
