OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
im drinking this country out of the recession.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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