I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
there is glitter all over my balls
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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