i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
