she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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