a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
