At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
