In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
