she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize