singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
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