I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
