that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize