I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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