I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We left an ass print on the piano.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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