how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
