Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
