I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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