I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
