Joe is yelling at the trees again.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize