She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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