Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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