that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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