i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
