I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
