Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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