Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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