Need sex. Gaining weight.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
