My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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