He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
