I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
