I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
