she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
