I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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