Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
