Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
