that's an acceptable place to lick
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
