I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
