So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
