Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
