he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
