just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
