i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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