i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
