I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
