The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
