apparently the secret to your success is patron
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
