is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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