well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
