if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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