it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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