so explain again why im purple
no
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
