This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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