you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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