party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
